We're facebook friends in real life
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
