I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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