Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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