Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he puts the penis in happiness.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
