I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
