YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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