But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
