After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
