Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
