Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
