You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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