just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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