not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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