Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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