There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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