maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
