since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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