Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and she was petting her beer can
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
