I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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