I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
thus making me awesome and them whores
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
