Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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