He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize