The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Even my vagina gasped.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
