dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
