There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...