So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.