Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Why are we friends again?

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(973): New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out.. (1-973): Why are we friends again? http://tfl.nu/4ygf

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(515): View more from Iowa

he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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(515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d

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(850): View more from Florida

I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.

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(850): I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math. http://tfl.nu/a930

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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(304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o

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(309): View more from Illinois

And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.

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(309): And whoever invented the condom should be put to death. http://tfl.nu/pkgn

Replies (81) Good night (1134) Bad night (9956) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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(718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33

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(916): View more from California

when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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(916): when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas. http://tfl.nu/o5tw

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

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(505): Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold. http://tfl.nu/drpi

Replies (6) Good night (1547) Bad night (609)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.

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(609): don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not. http://tfl.nu/y8qj

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(360): View more from Washington

There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.

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(360): There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line. http://tfl.nu/jhch

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(519): View more from Ontario

yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?

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(519): yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem? http://tfl.nu/qi5q

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(207): View more from Maine

All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?

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(207): All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night? http://tfl.nu/fpgg

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(214): View more from Texas

They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.

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(214): They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday. http://tfl.nu/u6e3

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(509): View more from Washington

The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.

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(509): The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift. http://tfl.nu/2o45

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?

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(219): I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM? http://tfl.nu/704g

Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (642)

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