I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
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Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.