are you still at the devil's house?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
