I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
