I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
