So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dick has a subreddit
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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