pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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