I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
