Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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