I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
