if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Such a big mess for such a small penis
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
