You made me cry and you don't even care
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
