I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
