I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!