I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.