we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot