But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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