Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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