I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
