Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize