Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
