all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
