You're so nebulous sometimes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize