I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
