The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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