Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
