wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize