He is an equal opportunity slut.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize