I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
