I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
