things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize